Talking about sitting alone at lunch or playing alone at recess more often than not.

Frequent physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches, particularly before school or social events.

To that end, it helps parents to watch out for the red flags that a child is experiencing relational aggression: Many wait until they feel like they’re falling apart before they reach out for a lifeline. Given that kids experience feelings of shame and embarrassment when being victimized, they don’t always come forward right away. Try some of these strategies adapted from No More Mean Girls. While your natural instinct may be to get the school involved, communicate with the parents of other kids, and jump into problem-solving mode, what kids need most is support, empathy, and space from the problem. No wonder that mom is concerned!īut there is good news: Parents can help their kids deal with social exclusion by teaching them coping skills and empowering them to seek healthy friendships. Children who experience relational aggression are more likely to be absent from school, perform worse academically, be socially isolated, and exhibit headaches and stomachaches, behavioral problems, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, symptoms of depression and anxiety, loneliness, and low self-esteem.

In fact, relational aggression is said to be as painful as physical blows, and its negative effects can last for years to come. The proportion of youth who experience cyberbullying is estimated to be as high as 40 percent or more.Īs I detail in my book No More Mean Girls, being the victim of relational aggression can come with some long-term consequences. According to statistics compiled by The Ophelia Project, a national nonprofit with expertise in relational aggression, 48 percent of students in grades 5-12 are regularly involved in or witness relational aggression, and students between the ages of 11 and 15 report being exposed to 33 acts of relational aggression during a typical week. Unfortunately, this girl-and her mother-are not alone. From the GGSC to your bookshelf: 30 science-backed tools for well-being.

Game over dealing with bullies kids